There is a shitload of horrible advice on becoming open to receive in the spiritual coaching world.
- Buy yourself gifts (even if you can’t afford them)
- Make scary investments in your growth to show the universe that you’re ready (the universe is, in fact, not an idiot and knows if you’re ready regardless of what you invest in).
- Tape affirmations on your wall (that make you want to fucking scream when you see them)
- Write out what you want 100x a day (until you’re numb and don’t give a shit about anything)
- Meditate at 4 am every morning (so you can become a chronic snooze button hitter with a side of self-hatred)
Can’t keep up with all this crap? Struggling to any of it because it doesn’t work and there’s no point?
Hi friend. Welcome. We’re gonna call that BS exactly what it is, AND I’m gonna give the REAL way to open your heart to receive.
Are You Open to Receive?
Learning to receive is essential for building a successful spiritual business. It lays the foundation for clients and income to flow your way.
You’ve probably heard the statement, “Money flows to those who are ready to receive it.”
What do you feel when you read it?
- Are you angry? “HELLO UNIVERSE, I’M READY ALREADY!
- Disassociated or Hopeless? “That’s just bullshit manifestation language. It’s fake.“
- Excited? “I am sooooo ready for this. I’m open to receive! I just have to keep repeating it to myself.“
- Something else?
The those who are ready part is key and widely misunderstood. Everyone’s logical mind is open to receive, but many subconscious and physical bodies are not.
How can you tell?
You struggle with money. You always have just enough (or maybe just not enough). Your nervous system is on high alert. Many spiritual CEOs (me included) have walked around in stress and scarcity for YEARS – need, want, don’t have, can’t have, and not good enough have become your normal way of being.
Your brain wants to serve more clients, but your body is working against you. This is why affirmations don’t work! As you say the words out loud, your body is calling bullshit.
To truly be open to receive, your body and mind must be on the same page.
Remember, the circumstances of your life that put you here are not your fault. They’re also out of your control. So there’s no use wasting your time with coulda woulda shoulda’s.
Your future, on the other hand, is yours to create. It’s time to show your nervous system that it’s safe to be open to receive.
Develop Your Awareness
Think of something you desperately need. Let the energy of that need settle deep into your bones. What do you feel? It’s likely constricted and tight. You may even feel pain in your back, stomach, or neck.
This is not receiving energy! It’s the opposite. It’s damn important to recognize this in yourself when it happens. Humans subconsciously avoid tension. So, when you’re trying to attract clients but your body is screaming “SHIT WE NEED A CLIENT NOW” your energy repels them.
THIS is why you can do everything right in your business, an incredible program, awesome content, killer strategies, networking, doing all the things, and it still doesn’t work.
People don’t know why they don’t want to book the discovery call or respond to your social media post. They just know they gotta get out of there. It’s an invisible energetic exchange that happens without anyone realizing it.
If you’re experiencing this, you have a massive opportunity sitting in front of you. It’s time to learn how to become open to receive.
Understanding the Problem
Your nervous system’s default state is your body’s safe space – even if it isn’t healthy (like being stuck in stress and scarcity). Your body doesn’t know anything else. So, when you go to interrupt this pattern, your body is gonna scream WHAT THE FUCK?!
Does this seem counterintuitive? Receiving is expansive, beautiful energy, so it should be easy to step into, right? Eventually, it will! But, your body is not used to feeling expensive and light, so it won’t immediately.
Your nervous system has one job – to keep you safe no matter what, and stepping outside of what’s normal for you is not safe! So when you start to do the work to become open to receive… expect weird shit to happen as your nervous system rallies the troops to protect you.
Subconscious! Universal energies! Health issues! Friends! Family! Clients! We must keep this idiot within the bounds of what is normal and safe.
Examples
In real life, this looks like patterns raising their ugly heads. It’s different for everyone, but here are some examples:
- Self-sabotage or inability to do the things you need to do – Your nervous system: “No wonder you can’t get clients. You suck, that’s why.”
- Overspending – Your nervous system: “See? You’re irresponsible with money. You can’t handle more!”
- Struggling to ask for help – Your nervous system: “Everyone else is just doing these things on their own why can’t you?”
- Keeping score in your relationships (giving similar value gifts, returning favors, etc.) – Your nervous system: “You can’t owe anyone anything. It’s not safe.”
- Offering discounts when your stuff doesn’t sell – Your nervous system: “Who are you to think anyone would pay that much to work with you? No WONDER this isn’t working!”
- Saying, “You shouldn’t have,” “this is too nice” or “I can’t accept this.” – Your nervous system: “This is too good to be true. People aren’t nice for no reason. Better make it meaningless so it can’t hurt you.”
- Experiencing a catastrophe that pulls you away from this work (sickness, family in need, ect) – Your nervous system: “You don’t have time to be doing this right now; your attention is needed elsewhere.”
- Getting slapped with an unexpected bill – Your nervous system: “Even if we do make more money, it still won’t be enough. We’ll always be poor.”
WOOF see what I mean by rallying the troops? Remember, your nervous system is lying to you.
It’s looking for any excuse to use life’s events to keep you safe and small. It’s time to see it for what it is, wrap it in love, and invite it into a higher level of consciousness with you.
Ready to do the work?
Low-Pressure Practice
Start by noticing what your patterns are and where they come up. Then choose a low-pressure one to practice with.
Quinn (husband) cooks, and I do the dishes in my household. Sometimes after a rough day, I don’t get those dishes done. They either sit on the counter for a day or two, or Quinn takes care of them.
I used to feel SO guilty for this. My nervous system “You’re not holding up your end of the deal. Quinn must hate this. Why can’t you get your tired ass off the couch and do the dishes?“
I’d allow it to push me into a shame spiral until I’d dissociate. Sometimes I’d go an entire week without being able to do the damn dishes. No surprise this corresponded with some of the lowest earning months in my business.
“I have to.” “I should have” and “what’s wrong with me…” are the same constricted shit energies as “I need.” “I don’t have.” or “why won’t people invest with me?“
When I started the work, I talked to Quinn about the dishes. Surprise, surprise, he does not think of me as the world’s worst wife when he does the dishes. He happily lends his extra energy to me when I need it. If he doesn’t have any that day, they wait. No big deal.
Our conversation made me realize that I do the same for him. All the dang time. At least once a week he doesn’t have the energy to cook. I don’t have a single negative thought about it. I throw something together, or we order food and move on with our evening.
The low-stakes receiving work wasn’t hard.
Love Yourself Through It
Small practice complete, I upped the ante. In December, a huge brand asked me to be a messaging coach in their program. I was SO ready to receive that opportunity.
I showed up for the interview looking cute AF ready to crush. They wanted to hire me! But they didn’t mention the pay. Scarcity Laura would have kept her mouth shut but open to receive Laura did not.
I asked, “What’s the pay for this position?” It was $35 an hour, I actually choked, and my face wasn’t very polite… oops. I tried to negotiate a higher rate. They wanted me badly enough to take my request to their CEO, but she declined. I released the opportunity to someone else.
My nervous system wanted me to take the $35 an hour so badly! “It’s safe, it’s guaranteed.” I wrapped her in love and told her that saying no was also safe. I showed her that I was leaving myself open for a better fit and honoring my value in the process.
THEN I held her in that reality until I felt her relax and join me. I simply sat in stillness, breathing in expansive receiving energy and breathing out scarcity and stress for as long as it took.
I grounded my energy into the earth and drew on her steady support as I sat with my eyes closed and gently tugged my nervous system into receptivity. I told her we’re worth FAR more than $35 an hour and held that thought until it became true for every part of my being.
The result? Opportunities are flooding my way that I would not have had time for if I had said yes to $35 an hour.
Becoming Open to Receive
Today it’s super noticeable when I fall into scarcity and stress energy. It no longer feels normal. I don’t punish myself for these moments. Instead, I use them as practice – embodying this work and reprogramming my nervous system.
This practice turns me into an observer instead of a participant. When a client sends me a gift and I feel uncomfortable, I think to myself, “huh, that’s interesting there’s that receiving block again.” I can let scarcity and stress pass without making them mean more than they do.
Your job is to learn to do the same. See your patterns for what they are, and let them run their course without following your nervous system’s lead.
Over time you’ll re-wire what feels safe to you. One day you’ll notice that you reached for receiving energy and stepped into it easily. You’ll discover your body no longer fights you with intrusive thoughts and resistance.
As you continue this work, your body will adjust to this new energetic state. Your nervous system will stop attacking you for seeking it and start craving it instead.
Someday you’ll find yourself in receptivity without having to go there consciously. That’s when you’ll truly see the change you so deeply desire. That’s how you re-wire yourself and break the pattern.
Does this mean you’ll never fall into scarcity or stress again? No, absolutely not. We’ll always have work to do, but when we love ourselves through it and accept that this work is a lifelong journey, we can move mountains.
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