Self Love Is Not Selfish – The More You Love Yourself, the More Impact You’ll Have
How can you show yourself, love? How can you give yourself grace instead of guilt? Replace guilt and dread with creativity and excitement and show up each day with a heart full of love. Self-love is not selfish. I’m on a mission to normalize this in my life and yours. As my Katelyn Buchwald says, It’s a practice that we must work on every day.
When you love yourself, you stop worrying about all the times something didn’t work out as you thought it should. Instead, you lean into the journey of entrepreneurship, recognizing it’s all a grand experiment. Of course, not everything is going to work out, but that does not mean you are less worthy or incapable!
The more you seek self-love, the more you will lean into your power and embrace your gifts. The more you will shine your light on this world, and that’s where your true impact lies.
I’m currently reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. WOOF, I’m only about ¼ of the way in, but it is GOOD. The premise is that when we put aside our fears and lean into our gifts, we find our Big Magic – our unique gift – the thing we were born with and are meant to share with the world.
How can we possibly share our gifts when we end each day burnt out and exhausted from putting everyone’s needs before our own? When we fail to love ourselves, we snuff out our Big Magic, and that does the world a huge disservice.
So Why Is Self-Love So Dang Hard?
Why is putting our health, happiness, and creativity above all else so hard? Society has taught us that “good” women are caretakers. We were raised to glorify Self-sacrifice and putting the needs of others before our own. EVEN if we weren’t asked to practice this directly, it was likely modeled to us.
Can you remember a parent flying into a rage over a mess at least once in your childhood? They probably worked all day to clean that damn house and were sitting down to a cup of tea and a book only to turn around and see that all their efforts were wasted. Can you blame them for losing it?
Maybe you are that parent today. It’s time to re-write this reality! This is where the practice comes in. Self-Love is not selfish – we have to embody this new belief. What does that mean? Think of an affirmation, for example, “I have a billion dollars.” Say that out loud.
Does it feel like BS? Unless you have a billion dollars (or close to it) it probably does! Right now, saying “Self-love is not selfish” may feel like BS too, and that’s okay. Remember, putting yourself above others has been ingrained in you since the beginning of time. However, you must commit to the practice of embodying this statement until it is the truth, deep in your bones.
How I’m Embodying Self-Love
If you feel like you are doing everything right in your business, and you can’t quite reach that level you are looking for, it may be time to dig a little deeper and see if self-love is where you are falling short. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you how to embody self-love. It will look a bit different for everyone, but I can share my imperfect journey with you and see where it takes us!
My self-love looks like this:
- Waking up without an alarm
- Maintaining a clean house and asking for help in doing so when I’m tapped out
- Making time for rest (Netflix, reading a book for pleasure, playing with my herbs, wandering in the garden, hanging in the henhouse)
- Non-negotiable horse time 3x a week
- Putting my creative expression (this blog, my email list & Instagram) before client work
- Making time for continued education – courses, non-fiction books, working with coaches, listening to podcasts, etc.
- Continuing to evolve and work on my spiritual practice (witchcraft)
Some days are easier than others when it comes to self-love. For example, sometimes I’m so stressed about meeting a deadline that I can’t find my own creativity. This leaves me unable to put my own work first. Other days I feel this compulsive need to be productive, and forcing myself to rest is agony.
Doing it anyway, imperfectly, and messily is part of the practice. Refocusing, re-directing, and learning to step into the truth that putting myself first better equips me to share my Big Magic with others.
Let’s normalize the imperfectness of all the practice and dive into it together!
Post inspired by this Quote From Witchery – Embrace the Witch Within
“A witch is only as powerful as the love she gives herself.”
- Juliet Diz
It’s time to get out there and talk to your people!
Get to know them, and learn how they talk about their dreams and desires.
Grab my list of questions to ask your soulmate clients.